I knew about the laxative recall so am thinking about taking water pills to fight the bloat.

I knew about the laxative recall. For awhile some of the laxatives were not on the market.

I won’t be going back to Renfrew. There is something about going back to a place where I spent 9 weeks back in 1992. The reason for the 105 is to fit back into pre-Renfrew pants. I looked OK at 105 you could see my muscle. The muscle wasn’t hidden by fat.

I know I need to get off the laxatives for my physical self, but my mental self won’t let me. I feel like there are two people in control of my body and no one is the boss. I am ready to quit but afraid at the same time so I don’t quit. I don’t want to get fat and bloated. I am thinking about taking water pills to fight the bloat.

I am messed up and my therapists try to help, but I fight them all the way. That is why I spent 9 weeks in Renfrew.

Thanks for writing to me. The more people who talk to me the lower my resistance will get. Thanks for your support.

You’re welcome.

OK so you won’t let go of the laxatives until you feel safe, but sometimes you have to make yourself a little uncomfortable to change behaviors you don’t like.

Don’t add to your problems either by taking diuretics. A diuretic would cause you to lose sodium which will also get your body into more electrolyte imbalance in your blood.

The laxatives make you lose potassium which is already causing problems with the mineral balance in your body. Potassium is inside every cell in your body and sodium is outside every cell. These two minerals need to be in balance otherwise fluid doesn’t stay where it belongs in the body. You go messing with diuretics and laxatives and you will end up in a hospital on IVs in a short time. Is that what you want?

I understand that you may have hesitant feelings about going back to Renfrew, but if you needed a particular help wouldn’t you go to where you could get the help you need? It doesn’t make sense to change doctors every time you get treated for a particular illness nor does it make sense to keep changing eating disorder treatment programs. Renfrew knows you and you could pick up where you left off. Renfrew wouldn’t need to get to know you or go through some old history that is already discussed.

Take a look at some female athletes. They look muscular, but certainly not thin. You can be lean at any weight, even 138. It all depends on your exercise and weight lifting which determines your amount of body fat and amount of muscle. Stay at the weight you are and focus instead on increasing muscle mass while losing body fat. There is nothing magic about 105 get it? Besides, when you have more muscle, you get to eat more food without gaining weight.

Even if you do get down to 105 pounds will the real you have changed or will the same old issues still be there? Why not change the inside you and not the outside you.