Thanks for the support and advice. I do try to share my problems with my boyfriend. Even though he is there for me, he doesn’t understand. Thursday I had to call a crisis line for help. I wouldn’t want to die, but I reached out for help. I didn’t like doing that, but that is what I have been taught. I also talked with my therapist, I told her that she left me open and in an unsafe place. Part of that was my fault for not telling her to close me back up to my safe little world. I didn’t exercise today as the gym was too crowded so I came home and fixed some things at my house. I must give myself the OK to eat. I can feel the guilt about eating already starting so I will have to eat some real safe food. Once again thanks for writing back to me. I read and keep everything you say. You are good for me. Enjoy the weekend.
Congratulations on implementing your plan to keep yourself in a positive food and safe environment! Also congrats on your assertive expression of your needs to your therapist. You are getting better and starting to think proactively for yourself.
Do you have a female friend that would understand your feelings and experiences? Perhaps your boyfriend is too emotionally involved to be objective and supportive when you need a buddy. It is hard for people who have never had a problem with food issues to understand that is why you need a buddy you can call when you feel like binging to help you stop.